One day a man was walking along the beach next to an ocean and came across a woman with no arms or legs laying on a towel sunbathing. The man noticed that the woman was crying so he stopped to ask if she needed anything. The woman says, "I'm 25 years old and I've never been hugged by a man". The man looks around and figures what the hell, so he picks up the woman and hugs her. He sets her back down and she is beaming with joy.
The next day the man is taking is daily walk and comes across the same woman with no arms or legs, sunbathing and crying. He asks her what the problem is and she says, "I'm 25 years old and I've never been kissed by a man." he man figures he can help again so he bends down and gives her a deep kiss while she lays there. The woman is overjoyed with the feeling of her first kiss and the man goes about his walk.
A couple of days later the man is walking along the ocean and again comes across the woman with no arms or legs laying in the sun and crying. The man stops and says, "now what's the problem?" The woman says, "I'm 25 years old and I've never been forked". The man notices that they are alone on the beach so he bends down and picks the woman up.....he walks over and throws her in the ocean and says...
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"You're forked now". 
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"The Irish are one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever." - Sigmund Freud
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