Cafeoutdoors.com: Murphys Laws For Cops

A motor officer stops a man for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the motor officer The violator demands to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The "Motorist" instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms and swearing he will "eat him alive" when he takes the ticket to court.

The tirade goes on without the cop saying anything. When he gets done with writing the citation he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the citation. He then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature. The guy signs the cite angrily, tearing the paper, and when presented his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember you're an asshole, sir."

Three months later they are in court. The "Violator" has such a bad record he is about to lose his license and has hired an attorney to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks:

"Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the citation you issued my client?"

Officer responds, "Yes sir, this is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."

Attorney: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this citation you don't normally make?"

Officer: "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an 'AH', underlined."

Attorney: "What does the 'AH' stand for, Officer?"

Officer: "It stands for 'Aggressive and Hostile,' sir."

Attorney: "'Aggressive and hostile'?"

Officer: "Yes, sir."

Attorney: "Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for 'Asshole'?"

Officer: "Well Counselor, you know your client better than I do....."

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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."

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