CafeOutdoors.com The way it was...the way it always will be!!!

Miscellaneous Stuff >> Swampfox's Joke Section

SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Lawyer Jokes
      08/14/12 10:21 PM

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about preparing a will. The receptionist suggested they set up a convenient time for the spinster to come to the office.
"You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?" the elderly woman asked. The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and went to the spinster's home to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"
"I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank," she replied.
"Tell me just how would you like the $40,000 to be distributed?" the lawyer asked.
"Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I pass on," said the woman.
"I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral."
"Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you!" the lawyer exclaimed.
"I need to know what would you like to do with the remaining $5,000?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married and the fact is I've never slept with a man. So before I die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with me just once."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding "but I'll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."
That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster and her weird request. After thinking about how much she could do around the house with $5,000 and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to provide the service himself. The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and waited while he went in. She waited for over an hour, but her husband didn't come out, so she blew the car horn.
Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow, she's going to let the county bury her."

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras Print Post   Remind Me!     Notify Moderator


Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Lawyer And Politician Jokes PePaw 12/29/05 06:22 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes PePaw   12/29/05 06:24 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/29/05 09:04 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/23/06 05:32 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   10/24/06 11:43 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/03/06 04:59 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/08/06 07:38 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes IIFID   12/31/05 02:23 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes USMC Ret   01/01/06 12:36 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/01/06 10:53 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes IIFID   01/02/06 11:32 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Original_Al   01/03/06 12:41 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Baitrunner   01/05/06 10:49 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes USMC Ret   01/11/06 06:06 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/15/06 05:17 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes PePaw   01/21/06 10:11 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/24/06 04:46 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/24/06 07:48 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/27/06 01:40 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/13/09 07:31 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/30/09 03:15 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/02/09 01:55 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/05/09 07:31 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/27/09 04:05 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   03/05/09 04:11 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   05/30/09 03:40 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/25/09 01:21 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/28/09 04:19 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/03/10 03:44 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/14/12 10:21 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/14/12 08:02 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:19 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:21 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/11/13 10:12 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/11/13 10:13 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/14/13 08:10 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   07/15/13 02:17 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/06/14 05:38 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/07/19 12:56 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   03/07/08 11:06 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/14/08 05:25 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes 67Firebird   06/14/08 07:46 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/15/08 11:26 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   02/22/08 01:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/23/08 04:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Uncle_Bill   01/30/08 07:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   07/28/07 11:52 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/30/07 10:41 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes MB2   09/17/07 12:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/18/07 12:09 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/12/08 05:57 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/18/08 01:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   06/22/07 01:19 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/22/07 03:02 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/24/07 09:37 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/15/07 03:07 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/24/07 07:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   03/10/07 04:26 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   03/20/07 11:32 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   04/13/07 04:07 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   04/25/07 12:17 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/03/07 05:11 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/24/08 06:27 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/26/08 08:51 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/27/08 06:13 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/27/08 06:14 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   08/28/08 01:52 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/09/08 03:30 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/29/08 10:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/04/08 06:26 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/07/08 04:58 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   06/03/07 07:41 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/19/07 08:26 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   10/18/06 03:08 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   09/21/06 01:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/22/06 01:26 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/23/06 02:13 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/27/06 10:33 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/07/07 07:49 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/07/07 11:40 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/18/07 09:29 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/18/07 09:58 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/05/07 04:01 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/07/07 10:39 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/08/07 02:14 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/08/07 09:42 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/14/07 01:09 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/04/07 09:45 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/25/06 06:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/01/07 07:19 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/17/06 07:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   09/19/06 01:54 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/31/06 06:49 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/01/06 02:52 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/01/06 04:25 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/12/06 05:38 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/13/06 04:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/17/06 08:48 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/11/06 10:30 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/17/06 01:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/17/06 01:42 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/08/06 07:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/20/06 05:13 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   06/20/06 08:39 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/11/06 09:52 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/18/06 08:10 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/27/06 04:15 PM

Extra information
0 registered and 3988 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  SwampFox, JimDog 



Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Rating:
Thread views: 30672

Rate this thread

Jump to

Return to Main Page

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5