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Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
      12/07/08 04:58 PM

Dear Sir:

My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells, Iowa, received a check for $1,000.00 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise?

I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all government policies. I would prefer not to raise Razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs. As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.

My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the futures of the business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was $422.00 in 1968, until this year, when he got your check for $1000.00 for not raising hogs. If I get $1,000.00 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000. for not raising 100 hogs?

I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000.00 for the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.

Now another thing, these hogs that I will not raise, will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you pay farmers not to raise corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising corn and wheat not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?

Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me any information you have on that also.

In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps. Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.

Patriotically yours: xxxxxxxxx

P.S. Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute more free cheese??

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Lawyer And Politician Jokes PePaw 12/29/05 06:22 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes PePaw   12/29/05 06:24 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/29/05 09:04 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/23/06 05:32 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   10/24/06 11:43 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/03/06 04:59 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/08/06 07:38 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes IIFID   12/31/05 02:23 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes USMC Ret   01/01/06 12:36 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/01/06 10:53 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes IIFID   01/02/06 11:32 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Original_Al   01/03/06 12:41 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Baitrunner   01/05/06 10:49 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes USMC Ret   01/11/06 06:06 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/15/06 05:17 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes PePaw   01/21/06 10:11 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/24/06 04:46 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/24/06 07:48 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/27/06 01:40 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/13/09 07:31 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/30/09 03:15 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/02/09 01:55 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/05/09 07:31 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/27/09 04:05 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   03/05/09 04:11 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   05/30/09 03:40 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/25/09 01:21 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/28/09 04:19 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/03/10 03:44 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/14/12 10:21 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/14/12 08:02 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:19 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:21 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/11/13 10:12 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/11/13 10:13 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/14/13 08:10 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   07/15/13 02:17 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/06/14 05:38 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/07/19 12:56 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   03/07/08 11:06 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/14/08 05:25 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes 67Firebird   06/14/08 07:46 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/15/08 11:26 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   02/22/08 01:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/23/08 04:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Uncle_Bill   01/30/08 07:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   07/28/07 11:52 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/30/07 10:41 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes MB2   09/17/07 12:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/18/07 12:09 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/12/08 05:57 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/18/08 01:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   06/22/07 01:19 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/22/07 03:02 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/24/07 09:37 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/15/07 03:07 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/24/07 07:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   03/10/07 04:26 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   03/20/07 11:32 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   04/13/07 04:07 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   04/25/07 12:17 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/03/07 05:11 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/24/08 06:27 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/26/08 08:51 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/27/08 06:13 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/27/08 06:14 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   08/28/08 01:52 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/09/08 03:30 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/29/08 10:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/04/08 06:26 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/07/08 04:58 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   06/03/07 07:41 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/19/07 08:26 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   10/18/06 03:08 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   09/21/06 01:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/22/06 01:26 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/23/06 02:13 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/27/06 10:33 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/07/07 07:49 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/07/07 11:40 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/18/07 09:29 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/18/07 09:58 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/05/07 04:01 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/07/07 10:39 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/08/07 02:14 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/08/07 09:42 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/14/07 01:09 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/04/07 09:45 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/25/06 06:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/01/07 07:19 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/17/06 07:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   09/19/06 01:54 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/31/06 06:49 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/01/06 02:52 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/01/06 04:25 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/12/06 05:38 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/13/06 04:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/17/06 08:48 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/11/06 10:30 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/17/06 01:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/17/06 01:42 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/08/06 07:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/20/06 05:13 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   06/20/06 08:39 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/11/06 09:52 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/18/06 08:10 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/27/06 04:15 PM

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