Cafeoutdoors.com: Hellbender

and here's another one

"A Natural Woman
October 8th, 2007

The inimitable Rocky Barker of the Idaho Statesman recently posted on his blog (here) a warning alarm about the new Wilderness Bill crawling around the halls of Congress:

Carole King and supporters finally get House hearing on ambitious wilderness bill

By Rocky Barker on Fri, 10/05/2007

Carole King and her patient, hard-working band of wilderness advocates finally have a hearing for the most ambitious wilderness bill since the Alaska Lands Act.

The U.S. House of Representatives Natural Resources Committee subcommittee on National Parks, Forests and Public Lands will hold a hearing October 18 on the Northern Rockies Ecosystem Protection Act. The bill, sponsored by New York Democrat Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-NY) and Connecticut Republican Christopher Shays would designate as wilderness nearly 7 million acres in Montana, 9.5 million acres in Idaho, 5 million acres in Wyoming, 750,000 acres in eastern Oregon, and 500,000 acres in eastern Washington.

Another three million acres in Yellowstone, Glacier and Grand Teton National Parks also would become wilderness, where no logging, road-building, motorized use, and new oil and gas drilling or new mining could take place. King, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame singer-songwriter, has repeatedly gone door to door, office to office in Congress to collect 116 sponsors for the bill, which would designate all of the inventoried roadless areas in the Northern Rockies as wilderness, and authorize a land restoration program that would create thousands of jobs.

Carole King, of course, is the famous songstress who wrote the song (You Make Me Feel) Like A Natural Woman, among others. Evidently she now also needs massive wilderness set-asides, because whatever she was singing about in that song isn?t working for her anymore. She?s lost that natural woman feeling, and desires to commandeer half the West and burn to the ground to get it back.

Hollywood do-gooder morons do not do good; instead they do irreparable damage. However, Congress being what it is, gushed all over Ms. King and her soulful tunes about nature and her natural feelings. Now the rest of us have to somehow prevent the horrors of catastrophic megafire that Ms. King, in her blissful Tinsel Town ignorance, wishes to inflict upon real Americans.

More from Rocky:

So now the West?s most devout preservationists finally get their chance in Congress with the first hearing on the bill in more than a decade. House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi is a personal friend of King?s. The long-time Idaho resident has worked hard to get Democrats elected and now she gets her chance.

So Ms. King is not only a wealthy entertainer, she is also a mover and shaker in Congress. What?s more, she?s a ?resident? of Idaho. I am just guessing that we?re talking about Sun Valley, not Yellow Pine. In any case, that means she may possibly have noticed the 1,250 square mile forest fire that denuded the Idaho Batholith this summer. Her lovely wilderness is now a wasteland of scorched earth about to slide into the streams and rivers in the biggest erosion event in Idaho since the Bretz Floods.

If she did notice, or even if she didn?t, that?s the kind of holocaust that Ms. King?s Wilderness Bill will perpetrate.

A better plan, and one that almost the entire country could get behind, is to declare the Los Angeles Basin a Wilderness Area, and burn it to the ground. Bye-bye Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Encino, Industrial City, Compton, Glendale, and all those other affronts to Mother Nature. Ms. King could even write a song about it. She could call it I Hate L.A.

The good people of Idaho should have a chat with their fellow resident, and steer her towards incinerating Hollywood instead of Idaho, because the former is already a wasteland and truly needs a thorough cleansing via eco-health administering fire.

Idaho and the rest of the real (non-illusionary) West have had enough of that kind of thing, thank you very much, Carole."

but then again I am sure Hellbender has no problem with designating all of the northern rockies as wilderness, since his ass lives in Missouri

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