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STTH
member
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Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 423
Loc: Turd Crick

Re: Wemmen, Go Figure...
      08/16/07 06:11 PM

TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory
because:

6 times you just lay there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

KEEP READING.......

=====================================================






TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you
didn't
get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the
sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was,
"Would
you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to
breathe.

--------------------


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Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator 12/15/05 04:28 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/20/07 10:13 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/02/07 11:59 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/11/07 10:48 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/25/07 10:59 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/05/07 10:12 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/06/07 02:34 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/09/07 03:21 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... MB2   08/16/07 08:41 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... 67Firebird   08/16/07 11:28 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/20/08 01:56 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/21/08 06:07 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/21/08 07:08 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/03/08 12:42 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/06/08 11:03 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/11/08 04:33 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/14/08 08:22 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/14/08 08:24 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/15/08 09:22 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/28/08 12:47 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/28/08 12:47 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/28/08 12:48 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   10/30/08 04:16 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   11/01/08 09:03 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   11/16/08 10:10 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   11/23/08 06:31 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   11/23/08 06:32 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   11/23/08 06:56 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... 67Firebird   11/28/08 10:28 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/10/08 04:46 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/14/08 11:01 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/14/08 07:32 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/16/08 03:54 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/16/08 05:44 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/18/08 12:58 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... 67Firebird   12/18/08 04:37 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... MB2   12/18/08 07:40 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/21/08 08:33 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/25/08 08:34 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/29/08 12:50 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/03/09 05:24 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   04/17/09 06:45 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   04/21/09 04:36 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/14/09 04:42 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/11/09 04:15 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... MB2   06/13/09 08:09 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/18/09 01:05 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/24/09 04:00 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/25/09 12:48 AM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/15/10 11:54 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/03/10 01:22 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... fish   03/03/10 07:12 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/04/10 03:44 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... fish   03/04/10 06:07 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/26/10 03:23 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   04/27/10 04:03 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/20/10 03:28 AM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/20/10 11:23 AM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Burrhead   07/31/10 05:44 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   07/31/10 03:11 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   08/18/10 03:59 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/19/10 03:42 AM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/25/11 03:05 PM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/14/11 06:23 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/16/11 01:59 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Ozark   05/17/11 11:22 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... 67Firebird   05/30/11 04:14 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Bubba   05/31/11 05:52 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/30/11 01:11 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   07/09/11 01:20 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/13/11 04:36 AM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/29/11 12:58 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/04/11 07:11 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Ozark   09/20/11 07:47 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/22/11 12:05 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Ozark   09/22/11 03:10 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... DjF   09/27/11 06:25 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/05/11 09:34 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/14/11 03:54 PM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   04/26/12 03:12 AM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... MB2   06/12/12 03:09 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... MB2   07/01/12 05:27 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   07/05/12 05:44 PM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/14/12 01:54 PM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/27/09 04:02 PM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/16/07 12:01 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... STTH   08/16/07 06:11 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/16/07 07:19 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... 67Firebird   08/17/07 12:57 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/03/07 03:31 PM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... locked up   05/26/08 09:26 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/14/08 08:36 AM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Bubba   08/14/08 03:41 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/15/08 01:45 PM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   06/30/06 08:52 PM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... MB2   08/02/06 06:21 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/09/06 03:51 AM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   07/01/06 02:43 PM
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. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   04/01/06 05:21 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   04/08/06 10:00 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/26/06 03:34 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/20/06 01:37 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/23/06 09:28 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/23/06 09:54 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/02/06 05:19 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/10/06 03:19 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/16/06 07:53 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/28/06 02:17 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   04/21/06 04:03 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   02/28/06 06:44 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/19/06 03:56 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/19/06 03:51 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/18/06 12:22 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/16/06 02:05 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/17/06 04:35 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/17/06 04:42 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... old lodge skins   02/17/06 12:29 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/11/06 11:06 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/05/06 06:41 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/08/06 12:54 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/09/06 04:29 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/11/06 10:32 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/11/06 10:33 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/02/06 04:13 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/03/06 03:35 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/01/06 07:03 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/01/06 07:05 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/01/06 01:09 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/01/06 01:10 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/01/06 12:20 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/28/06 08:13 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   01/28/06 09:25 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/28/06 04:56 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/25/06 07:48 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/28/06 04:18 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/24/06 11:06 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/23/06 11:55 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/22/06 07:18 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/22/06 07:18 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/21/06 04:40 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/19/06 01:38 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/17/06 02:13 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/15/06 05:22 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/15/06 03:29 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   11/29/12 02:06 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/02/12 04:54 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/02/12 04:56 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/04/12 06:52 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/04/12 06:54 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:28 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:30 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/30/12 01:08 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/31/13 11:16 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... wuchangAdministrator   02/01/13 04:06 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/13/13 07:51 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Ozark   02/15/13 05:05 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/03/13 10:55 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/20/13 11:41 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/27/13 03:36 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   03/29/13 11:40 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   04/30/13 01:49 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/11/13 11:41 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/11/13 02:38 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/12/13 01:19 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/22/13 12:34 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/27/13 10:24 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... hucklburry   06/02/13 06:49 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/15/13 02:59 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/26/13 03:06 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   06/26/13 02:16 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   07/04/13 09:53 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/30/13 02:02 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   08/11/15 12:52 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/03/18 11:28 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Bubba   12/05/18 04:39 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/28/18 12:08 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/31/18 10:30 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/24/19 05:23 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... wuchangAdministrator   01/25/19 08:54 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... MB2   07/25/19 04:39 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   07/26/19 08:35 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... MB2   09/08/19 05:14 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/09/19 08:34 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/14/19 11:11 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... wuchangAdministrator   09/14/19 03:37 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   04/06/20 06:51 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/02/20 12:05 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/04/20 06:25 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/19/20 12:45 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   11/05/20 05:35 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/29/20 11:33 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/20/21 12:46 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/20/21 12:55 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... rb.   01/21/21 08:28 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... 67Firebird   01/08/23 11:49 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... 67Firebird   02/02/23 05:19 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... 67Firebird   02/02/23 05:24 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   02/06/24 09:33 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/28/19 06:24 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   06/02/13 02:49 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   11/19/12 02:25 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... MB2   11/20/12 09:58 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   11/18/12 10:24 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   08/17/12 02:48 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   09/14/12 12:40 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   04/28/06 12:06 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/01/06 11:47 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/03/06 01:52 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   05/03/06 01:53 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/29/06 11:35 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... wil e coyote   01/17/06 06:54 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/18/06 04:45 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... Mel   01/15/06 10:03 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/16/06 03:48 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/15/06 06:06 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/15/06 05:26 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/18/05 12:12 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/24/05 02:23 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/24/05 04:06 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/11/06 06:34 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   01/12/06 02:00 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/15/05 04:34 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/15/05 04:37 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/16/05 04:29 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/16/05 05:00 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/16/05 05:04 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... SwampFoxModerator   12/17/05 11:00 PM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... 67Firebird   01/12/06 02:39 AM
. * * Re: Wemmen, Go Figure... STTH   01/12/06 11:12 AM

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