Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers a question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. The Senator asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth."
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions: First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President? Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"
Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kids that they will continue after recess. When they resume, Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts his hand up. Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.
"Larry."
"And what is your question, Larry?"
"I have five questions: First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House? Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? Fifth - what happened to Kenneth?"
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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Good Idea. Here's some stuff I've found the last few days.
"The latest political rumor is that if Hillary Clinton wins the presidency, she will be replaced in the Senate by her husband, Bill Clinton. When asked about it, Bill Clinton said, 'I dream of replacing Hillary every day.'" --Conan O'Brien
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
Edited by SwampFox (02/24/07 01:01 AM)
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
Edited by SwampFox (02/24/07 12:57 AM)
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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Senator Hillary Clinton recently went to a primary school in Ithaca, New York, to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand, & the Senator asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth."
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions...
1 ... Whatever happened to your medical health care plan?
2 ... Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the
office?
3 .. Whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?
Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Hillary says "OK! , where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts his hand up. Hillary points him out & asks him what his name is.
"Larry."
"And what is your question, Larry?"
"I have 5 questions:
1 ... Whatever happened to your medical health care plan?
2 ... Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
3 ... Whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?
4 ... Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
5 ... What happened to Kenneth?"
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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Quote:
SwampFox said:
Senator Hillary Clinton recently went to a primary school in Ithaca, New York, to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand, & the Senator asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth."
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions...
1 ... Whatever happened to your medical health care plan?
2 ... Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the
office?
3 .. Whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?
Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Hillary says "OK! , where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts his hand up. Hillary points him out & asks him what his name is.
"Larry."
"And what is your question, Larry?"
"I have 5 questions:
1 ... Whatever happened to your medical health care plan?
2 ... Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
3 ... Whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?
4 ... Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
5 ... What happened to Kenneth?"
Isn't this one where it all started???
--------------------
Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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And it will end something like this...
Al, Bill & Hillary go to Heaven
God addresses Al first.
"Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies, "Well, I believe I won that election,
but that it was your will that I did not serve.
And I've come to understand that now."
God thinks for a second and says,
"Okay, very good. Come and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill.
"Bill, what do you believe in?"
Bill replies, "I believe in forgiveness. I've sinned,
but I've never held a grudge against my fellow man,
and I hope no grudges are held against me."
God thinks for a second and says,
"You are forgiven, my son. Come a nd sit at my right."
God then addresses Hillary.
"Hillary, what do you believe in?"
"I believe you're in my chair"
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
|
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the aged bovine was struck and killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
"What happened to you," asked Hillary?
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad passionate whoopie to me!"
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
*The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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I was doing my usual thing ,tooling down I-55 with a load of auto parts headed for a plant in Wilson Arkansas and I hear this trucker come on the CB and holler ,
"Hey ,did anyone hear something on the noon news about an assassin shooting Hillary Clinton and causing her to drop out of the Presidential race?"
After a few moments of dead silence on the channel,another driver,says
"No,I haven't heard anything"...
Then the other driver sighs and says,"Well,maybe tomorrow...."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton before I die." whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon, the word arrived. Kennedy and Clinton would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Clinton commented to Kennedy "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." Kennedy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Kennedy's hand in his right hand and Clinton's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Senator Kennedy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you chose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen" said Kennedy.
"Amen" said Clinton.
The old priest continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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It is 2009 and Hillary is spending her first night in the White House as President of the United States. She is visited by the ghost of George Washington and asks him how she should act as president.
George tells Hillary, "Always tell the people the truth."
Hillary laughs and says,"George, you wouldn't last ten minutes as a politician today."
Next Hillary is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson.
She asks his advice and he tells her,"Follow the Constitution."
She laughs and answers, " That'll be the day."
Next, Hillary is visited by Abraham Lincoln and asks his advice.
Abraham thinks a second and says," Have you thought about going to the theater?"
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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The Disaster
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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Hillary Clinton called Bill into her office one day and said, "Bill, I have a great idea! I know how we can win back middle America and secure my presidential victory in 2008."
Great, but how do you propose we go about that," asked Bill? "Well," Hillary responded, "we'll go down to a local Wal-Mart, get some cheezy clothes and shoes like most middle Americans wear and then we'll stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador."
"When we look the part we'll go to a nice old country bar in middle America, and we'll show them that we really enjoy the Countryside and show admiration and respect for the hard working people living there".
A few days later, all decked out and with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from New York in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for.
With dog in tow they walk into the bar. They stepped up to the bar,the Bartender took a step back and said, " aren't you Bill and Hillary Clinton ?"
Hillary answered, "yes we are, and what a lovely town you have here. We were just passing through and Bill suggested that we stop and take in some local color."
They then ordered a couple of cocktails from the bartender and proceed to drink them down, all the while chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
All of a sudden, the bar room door opens and a grizzled old farmer comes in. He walked up to the Labrador, lifted its tail and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out the door. A few moments later, in came another old farmer. He walked up to the dog, lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and then left the bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five farmers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually Hillary and Bill could stand it no longer and called the bartender over. "Tell me" said Hillary, "why did all those old farmers come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it some sort of old custom?"
"Good Lord no," said the bartender. "Its just that someone has told them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two assholes!."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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TERRORIST ACTIVITY HAS CAUSED THE DEMOCRATS TO INCREASE MEASURES TO PROTECT THEIR FAIR-HAIRED CANDIDATE FOR THE PRESIDENCY. THEREFORE, AS A SECURITY MEASURE, THEY HAVE ADVISED HILLARY THAT SHE MUST ASSUME A NEW MUSLIM NAME.
FROM NOW ON, PLEASE REFER TO HER BY HER NEW MUSLIM NAME: SELDOM BIN LAYED
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Hillary Clinton a note in his own handwriting to let her know he was still in the game.
Hillary opened the note, which appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H.
Hillary was baffled, so she E-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
No one could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.
With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help.
Within a few seconds, the Marines cabled back with this reply: "Tell Hillary she is holding the message upside down."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on US 95 south, just outside of Washington. Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened? What's the hold up?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton. They are asking for a $100 millionransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire.We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "On average how much is everyone giving?"
"Oh, about a gallon."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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Amen!!!! She is difinitely an 
--------------------
Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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Last Tuesday, as President Bush got off the
helicopter in front of the White House, he was
carrying a baby piglet under each arm.
The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention,
salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, sir."
The President replied, "These are not pigs, these
are authentic Arkansas razorback hogs. I got one for
Senator Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of
the House Nancy Pelosi."
The squared away Marine again snaps to attention,
salutes, and says, "Excellent trade, sir."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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Presidential Poll (so far sent to over 12 million people)
The Democratic National Committee is currently polling Americans through the Internet to determine the electability of Hillary Clinton for the presidency of the United States in 2008.
If you would like to show your support for Hillary and encourage her to run for President of the United States in 2008 please add your name to the end of the list below and send it on.
1.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
|
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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