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SwampFoxModerator
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Virus' are us.
      #261480 - 04/06/20 08:52 AM

My daughter is making
hand sanitizer.
Thought I’d try it.
It tastes like 151 and coke.

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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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SwampFoxModerator
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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261481 - 04/06/20 08:55 AM

As we enter week 2 of the lock down I can't help but think of Osama Bin Laden.
Stuck in his house for 5 years with 3 wives.
I wonder if he called the Navy Seals himself?

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Edited by SwampFox (04/06/20 08:56 AM)


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261482 - 04/06/20 08:58 AM

Doctor: Have you been drinking enough fluids?

Me: Doctor, Fluids are all I drink.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261483 - 04/06/20 09:00 AM

Whoever said one person can't change the world never ate under cooked bat.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261484 - 04/06/20 09:01 AM

The telephone rings, and the wife answers.

A pervert with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight bald ass."

Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching TV - whom shall I say is calling?"

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261485 - 04/06/20 09:03 AM

Quarantine day 7: Today I melted an ice cube with my mind. It took a lot longer than I expected.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261486 - 04/06/20 09:05 AM

Of all the things I learned in grade school,
avoiding cooties was the last one I expected to use.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261487 - 04/06/20 09:07 AM

I'm finally grounded for all the things I got away with as a teen.

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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261491 - 04/06/20 09:21 AM

I would ask how your
weekend went but
the term has
becoming meaningless.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261492 - 04/06/20 09:24 AM

Covid 19 tip:
If you run out of food
look for a house with a
Vote Bernie sign.
They don't own guns.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261493 - 04/06/20 09:26 AM

Wife and I masked up and went to Sam's today.
When we got back home and took the masks off
it was not my wife.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261494 - 04/06/20 09:28 AM

We are called essential because
ceiling us sacrificial
would be too honest.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261495 - 04/06/20 09:29 AM

NUMBER TO REPORT NEIGHBORS GETTING FRESH AIR OR HUMAN CONNECTION

1(800) IMA-NAZI

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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261497 - 04/06/20 09:31 AM

The Rapture has taken place.
We were all left behind.
Toilet paper shelves are empty because, "The roll was called up yonder".

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261499 - 04/06/20 09:34 AM

i have the most loving wife.
Last night I woke to find her
holding a pillow over my face
to protect me from the virus.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261500 - 04/06/20 09:36 AM

Hormel Foods made their first batch of spam in 1937.
As a result of all the food hoarding
they will make their second batch this week.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261501 - 04/06/20 09:37 AM

I didn't buy a 2020 planner
this year so I've got that
going for me.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261503 - 04/06/20 09:43 AM

As kids, the threat from quicksand and piranhas was exaggerated.
Who knew the threat from cooties was real?

--------------------
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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261504 - 04/06/20 09:45 AM

Do you th9nk this quarantine can bring me down?
I've been in the military.
I can hurry up and wait forever.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261505 - 04/06/20 09:49 AM

King Felipe VI has been quarantined to his jet.
Now the reign of Spain stays mainly on the plane.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261506 - 04/06/20 09:50 AM

I didn't know grandma
had a gun
until I coughed.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261507 - 04/06/20 09:51 AM

The Power Ball is up to an 18 pack of Charmin.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261508 - 04/06/20 09:53 AM

I wonder if all this is happening because
I didn't forward that letter to 10 other people?

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Edited by SwampFox (04/06/20 11:19 AM)


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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261510 - 04/06/20 09:55 AM

A dolphin just told me,"So long and thanks for all the fish."
Does anyone know what that means?

--------------------
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Re: Virus' are us. [Re: SwampFox]
      #261511 - 04/06/20 10:03 AM

Suddenly having a mask, duct tape, rope
and plastic sheeting in your trunk is normal.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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