Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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OVER SIXTY?
Questions & Answers
Q: Where can women over the age of 60 find young, sexy men who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done,you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 60+ folks use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ folks to have problems with short-term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where do 60+ folks look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ folks when shopping in antique stores?
A: "I remember these."
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo
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They've rewritten some of our favorite songs...
It was fun being a baby boomer... until now.
Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.
They include:
Herman's Hermits--- Mrs.. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.
Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends
The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now
Paul Simon---Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.
Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
Abba--- Denture Queen.
Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.
And last but not least:
Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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