CafeOutdoors.com The way it was...the way it always will be!!!

Miscellaneous Stuff >> Swampfox's Joke Section

Pages: 1
Mel
member
**

Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO

Golfer's Confession
      #113398 - 09/05/07 12:35 AM

Ed and Dorothy met while on vacation, and Ed fell head over heels in love with her. On the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how they would continue the relationship.

"It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut," Ed said to his lady friend. "I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that's a problem, you'd better say so now."

Dorothy responded, "If we're being honest with each other, here goes...........I'm a hooker."

"I see," Ed replied, and was quiet for a moment.

Then he added, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off."

--------------------
Member DU, Delta

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Golfer's Confession [Re: Mel]
      #113478 - 09/05/07 12:34 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7976
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Golfer's Confession [Re: SwampFox]
      #115699 - 09/13/07 03:52 PM

Bedroom Golf

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally, one club and two balls.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage player's equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremly tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1



Extra information
0 registered and 1944 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  SwampFox, JimDog 

Print Topic

Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Rating:
Topic views: 737

Rate this topic

Jump to

Return to Main Page

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5