"denigrating" -- that word there is work the price of admission itself.

And just to clarify - I was serious about the dildo. But, just like with everything else in life, there is room for improvement...and the second generation would be using a vibrator instead. That would give you a much firmer handle for starters.....and the bonus is a built in reastat. You could somehow wire up the throttle to it and control the speed that way.

Just sayin.