The speed at which you respond to a fight call is inversely proportional to how long you've been a cop. .... .

Tear gas works on cops too, and regardless of wind direction, will always blow back in your face. ...... ..

High speed chases will always proceed from an area of light traffic to an area of extremely heavy traffic. ...... .

Placing a gun back in a shoulder holster with your finger on the trigger will cause you to walk with a limp. ...... ..

Flash suppressors don't really. ...... ..

If you have `cleared' all the rooms and met no resistance, you and your entry team have probably kicked in the door of the wrong house...... ..

If a cop swings a baton in a fight, he will hit other cops more often than he will hit the bad guys he swings at. ....... ..

Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available weapons (living room), to an area with many available weapons (kitchen). .... ..

When a civilian sees a blue light approaching at a high rate of speed, he will always pull into the lane the cop needs to use....... ..

If you drive your patrol car to the geometric center of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes some dumb civilian will pull along side you and ask for directions....... .

You can never drive slow enough to please the citizens who don't need a cop, and you can never drive fast enough to please the ones who do. ...... ..

Any suspect with a rifle is a better shot than any cop with a pistol....... ..

From behind you, the bad guys can see your night sights as well as you can. ...... ..

On any call, there will always be more `bad guys' than there are good guys, and the farther away your back-up, the more there will be. ..... .

.The longer you've been a cop, the shorter your flashlight and your temper gets. ..... .

.Whatever you are about to do, if there is a good chance it will get you killed, you probably shouldn't do it. ..... ..

The better you do your job, the more likely you are to be shot, injured, complained on, sued, investigated, or subpoenaed on your day off. ..... ..

If a large group of drunk bikers is "holed-up" in a house, the Department will send one officer in a beat car. If there is one biker "holed-up" in a house, they will send the entire S. W. A. T. Team. ..... .

.The likelihood that you are speaking to an undercover law enforcement officer, is directly proportional to the number of personal questions being asked of you....... ..

Dogs do not see the badge as a person of authority, they see lunch...... ..

Laser sights work