News That Sounds Like a Joke

Settling the Gender Wars:

German cancer researchers, writing in a January journal article, reported that any exercise helped ward off breast cancer in pre-menopausal women but that housework-type exercise worked for all women and was superior to job-based or leisure-based exercise. [Medical News Today, 12-29-06; Cancer Epidemiology Biomarkers & Prevention, January 2007]

A female chimpanzee, Judy, escaped at the Little Rock (Ark.) Zoo in January and, as she moved about, was observed entering a bathroom, grabbing a brush, and cleaning a toilet. She also wrung out a sponge and cleaned off a refrigerator, according to an Associated Press report. [CBS News-AP, 1-17-07]