Then there's this old classic.....

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse.

Grandma and grandpa were singing a song,
And the kid was in bed, flogging his dong.

Ma home from the cat house and I out of jail
Had just settled down for a good piece of tail.

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
I jumped off ma, to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, I made my mad dash.
Threw open the window and fell out on my ass.

And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and dozen reindeer.

With a little old driver, holding his dick.
I knew in a moment, that bastard was Nick.

Slower than snails, his chargers they came.
He bitched and he swore as he called them by name.

"On Dancer, on Prancer, up over the walls.
Quick now, damn it, or I'll cut off your balls!"

Up on the roof he stumbled and fell
And came down the chimney like a bat out of hell.

He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer
And a big rubber dick for my brother, the queer.

He rose from the chimney with a thunderous fart,
Boarded his sleigh and readied to part.

I heard him exclaim, as he rode out of sight.
"Piss on you all, it's a hell of a night!"