Not PC, but pretty damn funny

NYPD a Christmas Story

Twas the night before kwanzaa, and all through the slum,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a bum.

The children had braided their cornrows with care,

In the hope that Saint Sharpton would soon be there.

The Crips and the Bloods made their holiday peace;

The protesters protested: "F--k tha police!"

The Jews and Koreans hid under their beds,

While visions of rioters danced in their heads.

In a crackhouse some pipeheads were lighting a rock,

When all of a sudden there arose a loud knock.

And what to their wondering eyes did appear,

But New Yorks Finest, in full riot gear!

Boards fell from the window and crashed to the floor,

One landed in front of a twelve-year old whore.

The cops went to work with their nghtsticks in hand,

Swinging at skulls as the Africans ran.

A beating ensued as they tried to escape,

But nobody got it on videotape.

A greeting was heard as they managed to flee:

"Merry Christmas, you F--ks, from the N.Y.P.D.!"

Here's a different version for the military folks

'Twas the night before Ramadan, and all through the mud hut,

Not a creature was stirring, not even that mutt.

The insurgents had hung up their AKs with care,

In the hope that Bin Laden soon would be there.

The Sunni and the Shi'a made their holiday peace;

The protesters protested: "F--k tha police!"

The mullahs were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of jihad danced in their heads.

In a safehouse Al Qaeda was building IEDs and grenades,

When all of a sudden there was a series of raids.

And what to their wondering eyes did appear,

But a platoon of MPs, in full riot gear!

With M4s and pistols, zip-ties and shotgun,

The squads burst through the doors at a run.

The MPs went to work with their weapons in hand,

Shooting the terrorists center mass as they ran.

A beating ensued as they tried to escape,

But nobody got it on videotape.

A greeting was heard as they tried vainly to flee:

"Merry Christmas, you F--ks, from the U.S. Army MPs!"