Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips.

Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side.

Your mother's so fat, her clothes have stretch marks.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a hula hoop to keep her socks up.

Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Your mother's so fat, when they used her underwear for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she looks at the menu and says, "OK"!

Your mom's so fat, when she lays on the beach, people run around yelling, "Free Willie!"

Your mom's so fat, her belt size is "EQUATOR".

Your mom's so fat, when she turns around they throw her a welcome back party.

Your mom's so fat she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.

Your mom's so fat when she took her dress to the cleaners they told her, "Sorry, we don't do curtains."

Your mom's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.

Your mom's so big, when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white.

Your mothers so fat, she was baptized at Sea World.

Your mothers so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

Your mothers so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Your mothers so fat, she's on a light diet...as soon as it gets light out she starts eating.

Your mothers so fat that when she wore an "X" jacket a helicopter tried to land on her back.

Your mothers head is so big, it shows up on radar.

Your mothers so fat, when she went to the beach, she was the only one that got a tan.

Your mothers so fat your bath tub has stretch marks.

Your mothers so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

Your mothers so fat, she got a run in her jeans.

Your mothers so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.

Your mothers so fat, she sells shade in the summer.

Your mothers so fat, when I got on top of her my ears popped.

Your mothers so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up again.

Your mothers so fat, she has her own area code.

Your mothers so fat, they got her face on the Crisco can.

Your mothers so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said "Sorry, we don't do live stock."

Yo mama so fat, every time someone say "Kool Aid" she bust through the wall.

Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so nasty, I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

Yo mama so ugly, she went into an haunted house and came out with an application

Yo mama so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo mama so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo mama so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo mama so fat, her nickname is "DAMN"

Yo mama so fat, that she needs a sock for each toe

Yo mama so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone sticks their meat in her.

Yo momma is like a bowling ball, she gets three fingers, thrown in the gutter, and STILL comes back for more.