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Subject: Griffin Comments The following 15 Griffin Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around St Louis: #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." #14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun." #11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" #10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" #9 "Warning!?!?! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog???" #7 "Fair??? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey chit." #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." #4 "Just how big were those two beers???" #3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." #2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!! #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. Sign here." |