2007 United States Tax Office Memorandum
Proposed New Tax For 2007

The only thing we have not yet taxed is the willy. This is due to the fact we have determined that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed. 30% of the time it is hard up. 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it's in a hole. It has two dependents, but they're nuts.

However, effective January 1, 2007 willies will be taxed according to size.

The 2007 tax brackets are as follows:

10"-12"- Luxury Tax
8"-10"- Pole Tax
5"- 8"- Privilege Tax
4"- 5"- Nuisance tax

Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!

Issues still under consideration are as follows:

Are there penalties for early withdrawal?
Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
Are condoms deductible as work clothes?

Respectfully,
Richard Head
Commissioner for Taxation