Twas The Night Before Christmas and Santa Is Pissed...

Twas the night before Christmas old Santa was pissed,
He cussd out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable brats and ungrateful jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.

I've busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" what do I hear?..

The old lady b!tches cause I work all night
The elves want more money, the reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is Pregnant and Vixen has AIDS

And just when I thought that things had to get better,
The IRS sent a registered letter.

They say I owe taxes, if that aint damn funny..
Who in the hell ever sent Santa money?

The children these days are really the pits.
They're really impossible, mean little sh!ts.

I spent a whole year making goodies for them.
They want Razors and i-Pods, I'm not IBM

If you think that is bad, just picture this,
Try holding those brats with their pants full of piss.

They pull on my nose, they grab at my beard.
And if I don't smile, their folks think I'm weird

I fly through the air, dodging the trees.
I fall down chimneys and bang up my knees.

I'm quit this job, there's just no enjoyment.
I'll park my fat ass and collect unemployment

There's NO Christmas this year, now you know the reason
No more Ho Ho Ho. It's Aruba this season.