My wife left me...
I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, I had to give up drinking beer.
I was not a big drinker maybe a 12 pack on weekends. Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day she came home from grocery shopping and when I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup. I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"
She said, "I buy that makeup for you. So I can look pretty for you."
I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"
I don't think she'll be back