Night Bafo Crizzmus

Wus da Night Bafo Crizzmus and all thru da hood;

Everybody be chillin and da chillin be good.

We hunged up our stockins an we all hoped like hell;

Dat obama sho gunna bring us
sumthin we can sell.

All of da family was layin' on da flo';

My sister wif her gurlfriend and my brotha wif some ho.

Ashtrays was all full, empty beer cans and all;

When I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."chit, must be da law".

I pullz the sheet off da window fo what I'ze could see;

I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a
warrent fo' me.

But what did I see, sho made me say: "Lawd, look 'a dat!"

Here was a huge watermelon bein pulled by 8 big, fat-ass rats.

Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white;

But it looks like us brotha's got us a black-un' tonight.

Faster than a
poe-lice car, my homeboy he came;

And whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.

On Biden,
On Jessie,
On Pelosi and Hillary Who;

On Fannie,
On Freddie,
On Ayers and
Slick Willy too.

Obama landed dat melon right there
in da street;

I knowed it fo' sho', I seez him stop it wit his bare feet.

Dat Santy didn't need no chimley
he picked da lock on my do';

I sez to myself, "This Sons-a-biatch,
He done did this chit befo!"

He had a big bag full of presents at first I suspeck;

Wif 'Air Jordans' and fake gold,
to wear roun' my neck.

But he left me no presents, just started stealin my chit.

He got my guns and my crack and my new burglers kit.

Den, wif my chit in his bag, out da windo' he flew;

I sho' woulda shanked him, but
he done snagged my new blade too!

He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch;

And wuz gone in two seconds, da democrat son-of-a-biatch.

So nex year I be hopin', fo a white Santy we git;

'Cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf-a-chit!