I'm looking for assistance. I have a buddy who is turning 60 this week and need your best old age jokes to send him. I would like to send him several per day.

Here are two that I used so far:

Frank and Danny, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Frank didn't show up. Danny didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.

But after Frank hadn't shown up for a week or so, Danny really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Danny didn't know where Frank lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Danny figured he had seen the last of Frank, but one day, Danny approached the park and lo and behold! --there sat Frank!

Danny was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, "For crying out loud Frank, what in the world happened to you?"

Frank replied, "I've been in jail."

"Jail???" cried Danny. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Frank said, "you know Sue, that cute little red-headed waitress at the coffee shop where I go for lunch sometimes?"

"Yeah," said Danny, "I remember her. She is reaallly cute. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me;" Frank replied "and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I plead guilty!"

Frank slowly shakes his head from side to side and continues, "The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury."

AND

Top 10 Signs You’re Over The Hill

1. When you sleep, people worry you’re dead.
2. Your back goes out more than you do.
3. Your best friend is dating someone half their age… and aren’t breaking any laws.
4. You wear black socks with sandals.
5. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
6. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
7. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
8. You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
9. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
10. You forgot that you already had your 50th birthday

Help a brutha out with a few more to fling at him!