Police Report:

Lexington Police Department reports finding a man's body in the
Kentucky River just west of the Clays Ferry Bridge . The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption.. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on vibrator, and an Obama T-shirt. He also had a cucumber stuffed up his rectum.

The police removed the Obama T-shirt to spare the victims family any unnecessary embarrassment.