A woman whose husband is always playing golf decides 'if you cannot not beat them join them' so she books a lesson with the club pro.

One on the first hole he's showing her how to hold the club, stance etc. Well, she chops and slices all the way down the fairway, 20+ shots to the pin.

Up on the second hole the pro says 'you're just not holding the club right, I know, pretent it's you old mans dick'

So off she goes, thwap - 275 yard drive, 65 yard chip and finishes with a 20 yard put, 2 under par.

The pro says 'brilliant, now lets try it without the club in your mouth!'