The Chief noticed a new seaman one day... and barked at him, "Get over
here!" "What is your name?" was the first thing the Chief asked the
new guy.

"Paul," the new guy replied.

The Chief scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart,
liberal pansy stuff they're teaching Sailors in bootcamp today, but I
don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that
leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last
name only: Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to
only as Chief. Do I make myself clear?"

"Aye, aye, Chief!"

"Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed.... and said, "Darling. My name is Paul Darling,
Chief!"

"Okay.............. Paul,........ here's what I want you to do...