A guy who is totally smashed, drunk, blind to the world, three sheets to the wind, holding on to the floor for support, walks into a bar and spots a blonde at the end of the bar. He eases over to her and runs his hand up under her dress. The blonde slaps him silly.

The guy says:" Gee, sorry. You look just like my wife".

The blonde screams like a banshee:" You drunken, insufferable son of a femaledog!".

The guy says: "Christ, You even sound like her!"