A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the
Texas plains without water. His horse has already died
of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain
that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a
sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand
several yards ahead of him..

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and
discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens
it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.

She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management
Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a
calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked
behind one ear.

'Well, cowboy,' says the genie... ' You know how I
work....You have three wishes.'

'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy... 'I'm
not going to trust a FEMA genie.'

'What do you have to lose? You've got no water or transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides
that the genie is right. 'OK!, I wish I were in a lush
oasis with plenty of food and drink.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in! the most beautiful oasis
he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of
wine and platters of delicacies.

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest
dreams.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests
filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish! . Better
make it a good one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says...'I
wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will
want and need me.'

***POOF***

He was turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story: If the government offers you
anything, there's going to be a string attached