1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suc

3. I carry a gun, 'cause a cop is too heavy.

4. America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the mall.

5. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

6. A reporter did a human interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a .45?'. The Ranger responded with, 'Because they don't make a .46.'

7. An armed man can kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.

8. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my shotgun.'

9. Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use it!