A Woman Writes:

DEAR DIARY ... DAY ONE

I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.
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DEAR DIARY ... DAY TWO

We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

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DEAR DIARY ... DAY THREE

I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffle boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.
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DEAR DIARY ... DAY FOUR

Went to the ship's casino .. Did OK .. Won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal, complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.
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DEAR DIARY .... DAY FIVE

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night, and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.
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DEAR DIARY ... DAY SIX

I saved 1600 passengers from drowning today... Twice.