An Amish farmer, walking through his field, notices a man kneeling down and drinking from his farm pond.

The Amish farmer shouts, 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.' (Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows chit in it'.)

The kneeling man shouts back, angrily, 'I'm a Muslim, I don't understand you. I speak Arabic and English. If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of Islam, speak to me in English.'

The Amish farmer replies, 'Use two hands, you'll get more.'