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OVER SIXTY? Questions & Answers Q: Where can women over the age of 60 find young, sexy men who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore under fiction. Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done,you will have a place to live. Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant. Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror? A: Take off your glasses. Q: Why should 60+ folks use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car. Q: Is it common for 60+ folks to have problems with short-term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem. Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon. Q: Where do 60+ folks look for fashionable glasses? A: Their foreheads. Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ folks when shopping in antique stores? A: "I remember these." |
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They've rewritten some of our favorite songs... It was fun being a baby boomer... until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include: Herman's Hermits--- Mrs.. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker. Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip. Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash. Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face. Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now Paul Simon---Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom. Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair. Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping. The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone. Abba--- Denture Queen. Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall. Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To. And last but not least: Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again |